In truth, it’s everywhere.

Case in point: to qualify for Advanced Placement English, my 16-year-old daughter is required to write a “committee judged” thesis about a political/cultural topic of the day. She chose to attack the highly-politicized junk science associated with global warming.

Wrong! Speech Code Violation! I proceeded to tell her about the current state of academia—that the only debate allowed concerning global warming is the degree to which environmental doomsday is upon us. Students who dare challenge the prevailing wisdom on global warming are destined to, sooner or later, run into an educator who will torpedo their thesis—regardless of the persuasiveness of the argument.

The inconvenient truth (if I can steal that phrase) is many educators, politicians and social scientists are invested in global warming. To some degree, they stay employed based on their ability to harmonize with their peers in the global warming choir—that only more education, more research dollars, more enlightenment can save us from stewing in the gravy of our own excesses.

Plan B, then, was for my daughter to write about the exciting new revelations surrounding Intelligent Design. She wanted to amplify Darwin’s own written warning about his theory—that if, in the future, science could not produce a “transitional fossil record,” a bridge from one species to another, then Darwin’s whole theory, by his own admission, was worthless.

Red lights began to flash. I had to remind my daughter, again, of The Code. Attacking Darwin, while tempting, was a fast track to the University of Shopping Cart Retrieval. So, we went down the list: The war in Iraq? “Can’t go there,” I said. “Too many of your teachers only read the Strib and listen to MPR. Can’t risk it.”

“Racism?” she asked.

“No,” I said. “The Code is very explicit on race. Any conclusion you reach can be interpreted as racist. You can’t win that one.”

“OK, how about promoting domestic oil production?” she asked.

“No,” I said, “The Code says any drilling on U.S. soil is an act of rape against Mother Earth. The environmentalists are well represented in the teacher’s lounge. For some, it’s their religion.”

“Okay,” she said with a flourish. “Speaking of religion, then, how about persecution of Christians in the media?”

“No,” I said, “The Code says Christians, Jews and oil companies should be persecuted. You’re dealing with public school teachers. Just mentioning God or oil sets some of them off.”

“How about the filth coming from Hollywood?”

I had to think about that one. Even educators must recognize that Hollywood’s hell-bent race to the gutter is a toxic influence on kids.

“That’s a possibility,” I said. “Specifically, what were you thinking?”

“How they constantly picture teenaged girls as mindless sex kittens ...”

“… and dads as pigs,” I said.

“Yeah!”

“Won’t work,” I shot back. “According to The Code, perception trumps reality. Mass media reinforces lies faster than truth can correct them.”

We looked at each other for a moment, both drained of ideas. “I know,” she said with a burst of enthusiasm. “Let me write about the Speech Code—how political correctness has silenced all meaningful debate.”

“Honey, they’re going to look at you with all sincerity and ask, ‘What Speech Code?’”

As of this morning, her thesis is titled “Diversity: The Many Colors of Tolerance.” She’s figured out The Code. In modern public education, the pursuit of truth is the stated goal, but not necessarily the accepted one.

Jerry Lindberg is a local businessman and frequent contributor to these pages.